Injury update

[Gaz]

Great to see that you have won the last two games, keep it up lads.

I just thought I'd update you on my injury.

I have been to see the specialist and it has been confirmed that I won't be able to play again this season.

At least it seems as though you won't be missing me, especially with Craig knocking in outrageous strikes in recent games.

I hope to get down to see you play, in the next week or two.

Keep it up the good performances in the meantime.

[Matt Hallam]

Nice to hear from you Gaz. Strangely enough I was just thinking about you the other day

Sorry to hear about your knee and it's a shame you won't be able to play again this season. What's wrong with it exactly?

And I'm sure you know that ANY goal Craig scores is outrageous

Let us know when you fancy coming to watch and we'll send you some complimentary tickets ;D

Cheers

[Gaz]

I have a problem that is resulting my kneecap mal-tracking

In short they are buggered, the specialist says that surgery is probably not a good idea, as it is very difficult and the success rate isn't too good.

I'm having some scans & xrays that will hopefully show exactly what the problem is

At least my goals per game isn't getting any worst, 4 in 5, pro rata that up for the season!! My career scoring record is out of reach for Harry, even if I'm forced to retire

[Matt Hallam]

Ahhh knee cap maltracking

Doesn't that refer to several different conditions when the patella does not remain within the central groove of the femur (thigh bone). This includes ELPS (excessive lateral pressure syndrome) or LPCS (lateral patellar compression syndrome), patella tilt, subluxation and dislocation. The kneecap most commonly tends to tilt and glide towards the outside of the knee (subluxation). The patella may slip outwards and stay there, in which case the knee will lock and you will not be able to straighten it. Most of the time patella will reduce itself spontaneously, if you manage to relax a bit, but sometimes this memorable experience will require manual reduction by yourself, another person or a casualty officer in the A&E department. In most cases of recurrent patella dislocation several anatomical conditions are frequently seen: relatively flat patella, patella alta (high-riding patella), shallow femoral trochlea, femoral torsion, loose medial structures, general joint laxity, etc.

That's just a guess though

[Andy]

Dear Doctor Matt

Whenever I get in my car my knee twists painfully and feel like it clicks out of place. If I shake the leg it is rectified.

What is your diagnosis?

[Gaz]

Doctor Matt

The specialist was a Mr rather than a Doctor. Should i be taking more notice of your diagnosis or his??

What would you suggest as a cure

[Matt Hallam]

Well no wonder you're still injured Gaz. You're being treated by a charlaton and a bounder. Just a Mr and not a Dr

As for both yours and Andy's injuries, I find there are two ways to treat these types of injuries.

1 - Use my doctors method i.e. "Doctor, Doctor it hurts when I do X". Doctors response "Don't do X then"

2 - Holistic, complimentary and alternative treatments i.e. Amputation In both your cases from about the thigh. I can guarantee that both of your knee pains would disappear overnight

I think that when I hang up my boots I'm going to become the full time sponge man dispensing my healing hands wherever they are needed